Category Archives: Current Events

On Social Media

Ten years ago, I joined Facebook and just quietly watched as people would post to my wall, wish me happy birthday, or share their random thoughts.

Today, as I type this, I have 581 friends. These friends all have differing races, backgrounds, histories, religions, cultural backgrounds, and political opinions. However, over the past 24 hours I’ve been personally insulted because of my political opinions and my friends have been insulted on my own page (which can be equated to someone insulting someone else at the same gathering in my own home) for their own political opinions.

I’ve seen people say things passive aggressively about me today as well as in the past about varying things from Politics to my own health issues.

On social media, and even more so since the onset of our most recent election, I’ve read so much “we need to eradicate the Muslims” “we need to kill all mentally ill” and “we just need to get rid of anyone who isn’t a Christian because God will do it anyway” “People like YOU are the reason this country is going to shit” and “Gays should die!” kinds of posts and responses to others, that it makes me sad.  It stresses me out. It hurts me to see people behave in this manner.

Last weekend, my husband went away for a couple days and I, for the most part, stayed off social media. The pain in my teeth from the constant gritting I’ve been doing since early December started to subside. As soon as I opened up my social media app again on the way home, the anxiety came back. The backstabbing, insulting, hatred, rumors, speculations and absolute embarrassments were in front of me again.

I cannot allow myself to be a part of that any longer.

I cannot draw myself into a conversation about how horrible certain people are.

I cannot allow my friends to hate on each other in my own ‘personal space’.

I can no longer bear witness to people hurting others in the name of religion

Over an election

Over race

Over sexual preference

Over an opinion.

I have very strong political and religious opinions, however, I’ve also learned that voicing those on social media only leads to more stress and anxiety because of backlash from those who don’t agree with me.

And so, I’m backing you off. I’m backing me off. I’m doing this not because I don’t want to be your friend any longer, but instead, because i want to remain so. 

I’m turning social media back into what I originally meant for it to be, which is just a means to keep a few people in touch with me: family, some friends and a few contacts for my disability.

And so, if I’ve unfriended you, it’s not a slap in the face. Don’t think I hate you. I do not. I need to distance myself for me. I need to distance myself for you because obviously, for some of you, my opinions make you rather irate.

I feel that as a country, we are at the cusp of repeating a very dark and sad time. I understand those who want change.  I understand those who did not want to see history repeating itself twice in their own lifetime. I understand people not wanting to ‘re-elect’ someone to office, or even have someone in office who has a proven negative track record. I get that. It’s why I didn’t vote for a first female President this time. For me, it would have taken more than just estrogen and two X chromosomes to make it happen.

I also didn’t vote for reality TV star, real estate tycoon, narcissism either.

But, the way I see it, the irony is that by voting  against her, some of you voted FOR narcissism. You voted for a person who wants change THEIR way, not the way the majority wants. You voted for tyranny. You voted for bullying. You voted for sexism, racism and hate. But I dare not say that much on social media. I’d be insulted by my friends who see things differently than I do.

I dare not say that I don’t want to say anything about it on social media.  I’d be insulted by my friends who DO see things the same as I do for NOT saying anything.

Today, though, I was told that since I did not vote for the woman who was the First Lady of the state I currently reside in, I automatically voted FOR this hatred. I was told that directly. Again, I did not vote for anyone who has lived in the state of New York within the past 10 years. But somehow, I’m to blame.

The level of disrespect I’ve seen over the past year has been heartbreaking. Disrespect of myself, my friends and our fellow humans in general. The only way that we can resolve that is to first improve ourselves. If social media makes you have to take Xanax just to get through the day, then maybe you need to step away, too.

And that is what I’m doing first. I’m stepping away the only way that I know how without worrying my family or disappearing altogether.

And so again, this isn’t against any of you. It’s about me and my own health, anxiety (and my god, my teeth!).

I don’t hate anyone.  Hate is a strong word.  I don’t dislike anyone I’m departing from.

I’m just disappointed in my friends, in the state I live in and in society in general. If I keep you around, don’t think of it as winning a lottery or a friendship contest. I’m being very selective in that regard. Again, family and my immediate support network both in health and friendships are what’s sticking around.

I’ll still be around.  I can be found in my groups I moderate. I can be found in the neighborhood groups. I can be found on my site for my blog and the one for my craft. You’re welcome to find me there.

I just can’t with the hatred, entitlement and disrespect any longer. I just can’t.

Peace, Love and Unicorns.

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..If He were in our schools…

Yesterday afternoon, I woke to the news of yet another school shooting. My initial reactions were much like many. I thought of my own daughter, now in third grade. What if this happened in her own school? There’s nothing that prevents someone from walking from the front to the back of the building, shooting everyone in their path. Her classroom is the third one you come upon while walking through the academy. I thought of my own friends with Kindergarten-age children. Such babies still with their whole lives ahead of them. I wondered what would motivate someone to open fire on 20 innocent lives. Read the rest of this entry

Lasagna or Pork?

Imagine you go into a restaurant. There, the menu offers the following:

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Married in Sequined Slippers (Part V)

Baby on Board

Earlier in life, I had envisioned myself having three children. I always said that the first would be a boy, the second, a girl and the third could be whatever he wanted to be. I had a feeling that my first child with my former boyfriend would be a boy, but deep down, I had this irresistible hunch that my first child would be a girl.

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Married in Sequined Slippers (Part IV)

Into Adulthood

Circa 1995

By the beginning of college, I was no longer using the wheelchair, at all. I walked to all of my classes …in shoes and sometimes in boots. I had also conquered the Mall of America on foot. When this new-found freedom came boys, parties and the college and life experience that I personally felt I had been hindered from for so many years. I rarely told people about my condition, and felt that it was only a need-to-know basis. At the same time, however, I’d wear shorts or tank-tops that obviously revealed my scarred legs. This became an issue at one point a few years later…. One that I never thought of.
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Married in Sequined Slippers (Part III)

Article in Rockdale Citizen, 1979 (Click to enlarge and read)

Adolescence

By the time I was fourteen, I was able to walk long distances, but could not do so in shoes. I was in an adapted physical education class because I was not able to the things everyone else could. Pull-ups would shred my hands, as would push ups. If I had been hit by a ball, my skin would have come off upon impact. Asking me to run sprints was like asking a turtle to play fetch. It was impossible. I had days where I would come to school in slippers because my feet were so swollen and sore. Other days, I would walk a mile.
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Married in Sequined Slippers (Part II)

Happy Birthday, Mom!

My mother turned 28 on October 25, 1974. On that same day, she received a phone call advising her that her one-week-old infant was given two weeks to live. As a mother now, myself, I can only imagine how much her world sank around her. I had been diagnosed with Epidermolysis Bullosa Dystrophica at birth. The doctor that delivered me had seen one other case before in a set of twins. They died just after birth. Read the rest of this entry

Married in Sequined Slippers (Part I)

What is Epidermolysis Bullosa?

Some would describe Epidermolysis Bullosa as horrific. Some use words like “Painful”, “devastating”, “horrible”, “dreadful” or “insurmountable”. It’s also been described as “The worst disease you’ve never heard of”.
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Dear Mayor Stadola

This is an open letter, as I wrote it, to Mayor Mark Stadola regarding his recent Car-Free Campaign in which he challenged area residents to go without using their own vehicles and instead, using public transportation. This is an annual campaign in which this year marked the second of such. Last year, the mayor received criticism as he apparently took his own car to work during his campaign period. This year, he took it from Kavanaugh downtown, a mere five miles that offers a direct route.

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It’s not just a teen issue

We, as adults are hypocrites. There’s no denying it. Just look around. It’s nothing new. For generations, we have told our kids to “do as we say, not as we do.” My mom told me not to smoke, yet she has been for more than 40 years. My grandparents told their own kids to “wait” until marriage, I’m sure. Yet, both of my sets had children born less than 9 months after their wedding dates. These were probably considered harmless. But in today’s society, what we think is harmless now has deadly consequences.

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