Careening down the hot flash highway
Hey, I’m about to talk about girl stuff.. so, if you’re not interested, you might as well skip over this one…
I grew up fully expecting to enter that “final milestone of womanhood” at an early age. My mother, aunt and grandmother all started this coming-of-age event around 42. In fact, I often joked that my daughter (whom I gave birth to at 29) and I would be going through the opposite change at the same time and thus, my husband would most likely be found camping on the most remote mountain of New Mexico for a good 1-2 years.
Lucky for him, my daughter and I appear to be off-sync. Not so lucky for me, as I’m early by my own genetics standard. I turned 37 in mid-October. For my birthday, I got a week’s worth of hot flashes, insomnia, nausea, muscle aches and a mood-swing that made my husband and I wonder if I was pregnant again. This was followed by the shortest “month” ever.
But then, I shouldn’t be surprised to be greeted with perimenopause. I mean, at 18 I found my first gray hair on Christmas Day. Talk about traumatic!
Despite my anticipation and dark-brown hair out-of-a-box, I still feel awkward looking through information online about this milestone. I think it’s the webpages dotted with photos of women my mother’s age that makes me feel most uncomfortable. I’m too young for this! I’m not even remotely thinking about Social Security and Medicare yet. In fact, I feel awkward just thinking about my 20-year high school reunion that’s coming up in a few months. I fear I’ll probably be labeled as “The first classmate to need Depends” (even though, in actuality, I was one of the youngest people in my graduating class).
Voted most likely to get osteoporosis? Me.
The youngest old lady from the Class of 1992? Me.
Classmate with the most inconsistent body temperature? Me
Least likely to give birth again? Oh, definitely me!! But, I’m OK with that label!
Maybe next summer, when reunion time comes, I’ll find someone to commiserate with. I know a couple of my classmates are grandparents already.. hmm.
So, if you happen to see me strip suddenly (at least my daughter came by it naturally!), or inexplicably burst into tears, you’ll know why. Blame it on ‘the change’. Now, I almost wish I hadn’t stocked up on three years’ worth of womanly products with one of my Deals of the Week a while back! At least they don’t expire, I guess.