Careening down the hot flash highway

Hey, I’m about to talk about girl stuff.. so, if you’re not interested, you might as well skip over this one…

I grew up fully expecting to enter that “final milestone of womanhood” at an early age. My mother, aunt and grandmother all started this coming-of-age event around 42. In fact, I often joked that my daughter (whom I gave birth to at 29) and I would be going through the opposite change at the same time and thus, my husband would most likely be found camping on the most remote mountain of New Mexico for a good 1-2 years.

Lucky for him, my daughter and I appear to be off-sync. Not so lucky for me, as I’m early by my own genetics standard. I turned 37 in mid-October. For my birthday, I got a week’s worth of hot flashes, insomnia, nausea, muscle aches and a mood-swing that made my husband and I wonder if I was pregnant again. This was followed by the shortest “month” ever.

But then, I shouldn’t be surprised to be greeted with perimenopause. I mean, at 18 I found my first gray hair on Christmas Day. Talk about traumatic!

Despite my anticipation and dark-brown hair out-of-a-box, I still feel awkward looking through information online about this milestone. I think it’s the webpages dotted with photos of women my mother’s age that makes me feel most uncomfortable. I’m too young for this! I’m not even remotely thinking about Social Security and Medicare yet. In fact, I feel awkward just thinking about my 20-year high school reunion that’s coming up in a few months. I fear I’ll probably be labeled as “The first classmate to need Depends” (even though, in actuality, I was one of the youngest people in my graduating class).

Voted most likely to get osteoporosis? Me.

The youngest old lady from the Class of 1992? Me.

Classmate with the most inconsistent body temperature? Me

Least likely to give birth again? Oh, definitely me!! But, I’m OK with that label!

Maybe next summer, when reunion time comes, I’ll find someone to commiserate with. I know a couple of my classmates are grandparents already.. hmm.

So, if you happen to see me strip suddenly (at least my daughter came by it naturally!), or inexplicably burst into tears, you’ll know why. Blame it on ‘the change’. Now, I almost wish I hadn’t stocked up on three years’ worth of womanly products with one of my Deals of the Week a while back! At least they don’t expire, I guess.



About gespurr

Emily was born in Southwestern Louisiana and has moved over 20 times in her life through nine different states. Most of her life was spent in the Twin Cities of Minnesota, where she met her husband and had her only child. Both she and her husband are also only children. She graduated from Stillwater (MN) High School in 1992 and from the University of Wisconsin in 1997 with a BS in Journalism. Three years later, she met her husband, George, and they married in 2002. Their daughter, Kathryn, was born early in 2004. She relocated with her family back to Arkansas in 2005 after being away for 30 years. She currently works as a customer service representative for an insurance company and lives in North Little Rock. When not taking care of her daughter she is either cooking, working, cleaning house, sewing, gardening, knitting, crocheting hiking, traveling or spending time with her husband.

Posted on November 2, 2011, in Miscellaneous. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Too funny about George camping on a mountain. My mother was 37 when I was born and she was ending as I started. Luckily for my dad as the only male in the house she just suddenly never got one again and that was it. I’m 46 and am starting. I, unfortunately, am not as lucky as my mother. :/

  2. I have been through a fake “phase” when I was twenty something to ward off Endometrosis. NOW, I live it daily with hormone patches. Welcome to my world!

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